I am not married, but I look to the Bible for how Christian dating should look. First and foremost your heart must belong to God. Perfect for humans is near impossible, but you should strive for a great relationship with you maker. Be in constant communication with Him and when the time is right let Him know that you feel you are ready to date if it is His will. The key is God's will and His timing.
At the point in time when God's will and ours align and you meet someone I feel honesty is of the utmost importance. Put all your expectations, concerns, and baggage out on the table if the other person does not have similar expectations this may not be the right relationship or you may have some things work out. If they are not understanding of your concerns and willing to work through them I repeat this may not be the right relationship, and if they are not accepting of your bagging it REALLY is not the right relationship for you. Your heart is not something to compromise over you should have qualities that you are looking for in a mate that are nonnegotiable. Some need to make this list a physical thing that they write down and keep with them for others it can just be a mental checklist either way know what your are looking for and what you want no part of. The reality is we all have expectations and just as others are not meeting our expectations we are not meeting theirs be mindful of that. Also remember you are entering a relationship with a real live human sinner they are going to make mistakes and so are you its how you handle the mistakes that define your relationship.
Prayer has to be a vital part of the relationship. You should both be offering one another to God, for protection, guidance, patience, peace, anything your significant other needs. Society says that physical touch and intimacy should be vital parts of your dating relationship. God says NO! He designed us with these desires yes, but they were intended for marriage. Many believe that the Song of Songs is a sexually explicit book of the Bible, but if you walk through it slowly and analyze its a beautiful love story of a couple that.... you guessed it GETS MARRIED! I don't promise it will be easy. I don't promise that if you choose this path it will come without ridicule and judgment. I don't promise that this path always works out with a happy ending. But I do promise that this is how God wants us to pursue relationships.
Relationships are not easy they take commitment and work. Once marriage happens you can't stop dating King Solomon didn't stop dating his wife. Constantly seek to improve your marriage ask hard questions, How am I meeting your expectations? How am I not meeting your expectations? Matt Chandler says " Maybe you'll find it oddly comforting to know that conflict is a natural part of being married. It doesn't mean conflict is always great. It doesn't mean that a conflict-filled marriage is a good thing that doesn't need a lot of work. Just because two Christians love Jesus and love each other doesn't mean all of life is going to be smooth sailing." He is right it takes work and love to keep your marriage alive. Never go to bed angry. Fight for your spouse. Iron sharpens iron you two are on the same team. Reflect Christ-like patience. Do not let your pride get in the way of your marriage. Encourage each other. Pray for each other. "An integral part of marriage's design is the sanctifying work that takes place between two sinners in close proximity, learning to love each other." Matt Chandler is really a genius!
Don't worry you don't have to be at this point in your life at this exact moment, but it doesn't hurt to ask God to start preparing your heart. Dear God, I ask that you prepare the hearts of those reading this. I ask that you prepare the hearts of those whom they will one day marry. Allow them to pursue relationships the way you have asked us to. Give us patience to wait for your timing and not to rush relationships. Thank for giving us the opportunity to love someone, Amen.
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