Saturday, July 4, 2015

Deeper than my feet could ever wander

In January of 2014 I lost one of the most important people  in my life., my Gram.  The ground I thought I was standing on had been ripped away. I was lost and heartbroken. But God is a God of redemption and bringing beauty from ashes and he turned my story upside right!

At the time  I was working temporarily for New Hope Church and I worked hard and with a love for Christ in my heart. I got my hands in as many different areas as I could because I wanted to learn a little bit of everything.  I had worked very closely with Missions and grew to love it. A dream developed in my heart that I wanted to be a full time employee of New Hope and work in their missions ministry. Oh but I tell you I was making my plans and God was having a laugh. I was able to stay on full time at New Hope as the receptionist and learned many areas of ministry.

If you know me I am not a touchy, feely, squishy kinda girl! It's just not me but I will be the first to hold your hand when you are crying the first to offer advice the first to hug you if you had a bad day. I'm not heartless I just don't have the lovey squishy genes running through my veins. That being said last summer I went on a mission trip to the Los Angeles Dream Center and my heart was on fire for the missions ministry. Our team did daily devotionals and each person had to choose one and read theirs out loud in the car on our way somewhere during that week. When I tell you I was dreading it I mean I would have gone a month with no coffee rather than read that devotional out loud. I loved the devotional I had chosen, but something about sharing it made me nervous beyond belief. The same with praying out loud with people we had countless opportunities to pray out loud with people and I honestly prayed that God would never leave me in a situation where I was the only one stuck praying with someone. It freaked me out! Like high blood pressure freaked me out.

When I got back home and to work God was changing my heart he put me in situations where I was the only one around to pray with people. He put me at the other end of the phone with people who desperately need to be  loved on. I still had no idea what God was doing at this time my heart was still set on a career in missions. Then our Pastoral Care ministry at New Hope became short staffed so I stepped up like I would have had it been any other ministry. I helped with their events and became more involved in Pastoral Care, yet I was still clueless as to what God was doing. After about a month or so of this I was approached about becoming the Pastoral Care Assistant, knowing that praying out loud with people freaked me out I said of  course as long as it was an Administrative position. Once again I'm sure God got a big kick out of my plans.

Before I knew what happened I was praying with people, helping coordinate funerals, and much more than I ever dreamed I would do. God had moved me so far past my comfort zone it was a little scary.  I am a 21 year old wide eyed Bambi in this ministry and I'm often seen as such, but I know God had a plan for all of this and I trust him with every aspect of my life. The truth  is my age doesn't matter, but God does because he can do great things through me. I have already seen it. I have had the opportunity (yes I say it like that on purpose now because it's not a burden it is a blessing)  to pray with many coworkers I look up to as spiritual mentors. I have had the opportunity to pray for my New Hope Team. I have had the opportunity to be there in family's hard moments after the loss of a loved one. God didn't look at me and say oh you're too young maybe we can try when you're older. Nope he moved my heart at a young age and I love what I get to do each and every day I get to be a blessing.

1 Timothy 4:12 Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.

I will look ahead with my God at my side knowing full well that he has had my back this whole time he equipped me, he molded me, he made me brave. He will keep walking this journey with me. When I hear those hurtful words about my age and what I have been chosen to do I will look up to the heavens and smile, because they don't know I was hand picked by God for this .






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